What does it take to be genuinely happy ? Part II

I’m writing this post specially for those who lack self confidence and are constantly drowned in depression by what others or circumstances have done to them.

Even if you do not fall into those categories you are still welcome to read this post.

Before I continue, it’s important for me to highlight that I am not a guru of knowledge or anything close to that, I’m simply a lover of life and my only wish is to help people feel better about themselves in any way I can. 

I would honestly recommend anyone looking for genuine and constant happiness to read “The monk who sold his Ferrari” by Robin Sharma. If you are so keen on being a happy person, just like me, that book is essential.

Anyways, happiness is a matter a perspective. Due to this, my thesis here is “Change your perspective of your life & Change your reality”  

How can you do this ? 

I have a story that relates to the point about changing perspectives. Yesterday, I met a guy at the place where I currently have my calculus lessons and we spoke for quite a while. As usual, I asked him questions about himself and what he was doing at the lesson. He told me that he was meant to be in college a long time ago and has been hustling to gather money up to do so. Before I asked any other questions, he began to dwell on how life has been unfair to him financially and even physically due to his smallish statue. I was shocked at how someone could actually use their words to almsot describe their lives as sort of miserable. In less than five minutes, I knew how sad and depressed he was over all the bad things that have happened in his life and hindered him from going to college. 

Although, I ended up trying to remind him of the blessings of life.He shrugged and agreed that life “wasn’t so bad” after all but looking at him I could still tell that he was still so stuck on how life hasn’t been fair on him. People like that end up believing that nothing good can come out of their lives. How can they be happy when they are dwelling on their troubles instead of their blessings ?

In order words, the things we dwell and think about much, shapen how sad or happy we are. Then, why do we often pick the sad things ? 

It’s easy for us to conclude that there is nothing special about us. In fact, it’s probably the easiest thing especially when people in our lives have disappointed us and insulted us. We easily feel that we are not special simply because no one compliments us often or we feel clumsy or awkward. I use the word “feel” because most times,it’s the  beautiful  ones that feel this way. 

More so, I also meet a student in that same lesson who has been trying to gain admission into the university since 2012. Unlike many others I have met, who are reluctant to tell people how long they have been seeking admission, this guy told me something very much different. 

“The most important thing is not to ever give up and I’m still keen on being an engineer” 

Talk about perspective. While the first guy sees his life as a mess and believes   that the world hasn’t been fair to him. The second guy, despite all his failures and untold setbacks, believes in himself that he was doing the most important thing by never giving up. 

I’m not going to conclude that the second guy is actually a happy person because I really do not know what goes on in his mind everytime.However, I can tell you that he feels so much better about himself than the first guy. Why ?

It’s simply because he has different perspective of his life. He believes in himself and sees his present condition as a stage, while the first guy is drowned in his negative potentials, this guy is focused on not giving up because he believes that just like everyone else he is “smart enough and good enough”.

These real life individuals I met explain why some people despite having all the nessciates and grace of life still spend their lives feeling like they aren’t good enough. Happiness is all about believing in yourself and everything you do. It’s knowing that you are imperfect and not caring about what anyone else thinks. 

It’s about self appreciation and reinterpretation of your life in a postive way. How can you do this ?

It all starts with your mind.

Instead of saying to yourself; “my business failed, I’m such a hopeless loser compared to most of my successful friends” 

Say; “I can never fail at any thing I do and this is just a lesson that will eventually lead to my big success” 

Instead of saying; ” people around me do not like me, no one ever compliments me”

Say to yourself in front of the mirror;”I am beautiful and I know it.”

They are so many other examples of how to change your setbacks into postive things. The minute you can get used to becoming a postive person in interpreting your life experiences, your life will never become the same again 

Many good stories started badly and ended well. Start seeing yourself the clumsy kunfu panda who eventually became the best fighter in his town, the ugly duckling turning into a swan. Appreciate where your life is now and believe that it would only get better. And just like the law of attraction says, whatever you believe in eventually happens.

I would like to point out that it is almost if not,totally impossible to always be happy. Life will always have something important to teach us and sometimes pain makes us understand ourselves better if we patient to learn from our experiences. 

In fact, everytime I don’t do so well in a test or something bad happens to me, I mostly spend my time thinking about my situation; changing my perspective of it and reinterpreting it.

You can only love life if you love yourself and appreciate your experiences.

Start reinterpreting your life and you’d start seeing that your life will be far better than it is now. Re write your story, ensure it leads to a happy ending. Most importantly, believe in yourself ❤️

Hope this helped someone out there. 

If you have any private  questions, need my help  or want me to write about a particular topic, you can email me (emmamattie@yahoo.com) 

Part III will be talking about how to attract the right people into your life. 


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