Anger

Anger. Anger.  Anger. 

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A while ago, I watched the movie “the raid”. I watched as the father of the antagonist continuously warned his son about acting out anger. The son stubbornly disobeyed and was made to pay for his foolish actions. For me,  the potential message was NEVER ACT OUT OF ANGER.
I hardly ever get angry,  maybe because people around me never push me that extent.  But the few times are do, I’m totally act of control. I say things I don’t mean and take some abnormal actions. I flare up and the situation keeps repeating in my head; I get more annoyed and I feel my head getting hot. “Why should she call me that ? ”
or
“Why should he belittle my opinion ? ”
I ask myself continuously as the situation keeps replaying.
I’m unstable psychologically and my mouth runs or my fingers type. I do something stupid and the next thing I feel terribly mad at myself.

“I shouldn’t have !!!!!”, those words scream in my head as I began to look for ways to sort out my situation. Most a times,  actions and words can’t be taken back and some others find it hard to forgive. I always regret acting out of anger. It is something I try to work on now, day by day, minutes by minutes when I feel like flaring, I simply count one to ten in my head and few other times, I hmm blah blah black sheep in my head. I walk out from my present situation, wait for my mind, soul and body to be neutral, then I make my decisions.

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