What does it take to be genuinely happy ? Part I

For quite sometime, I had imagined that relationships & marriages were the only way one could be happy genuinely.  You see genuine happiness is one were you don’t hide any fears and were you feel loved and fulfilment.  Many fairytales further reassured me on this thinking. And, soon all I wanted was a good solid relationship with someone who I felt I could make my own fairytale with. But soon, Life was able to show me that yes, good relationship bring happiness but not consistent and an extremely genuine one.                                  Yes, I got into a happy relationship with someone who I thought of as perfect.  All went well and for a sometime time, I slept with a smile on my face every night.  My own fairytale seemed to be going very well.  As time went on , my emotional intelligence set in ; I realised that we were so young and inexperienced, we thought of marriage as something easy and we felt that love was all about feeling something special with someone else. I gradually became scared and worried.  I badly didn’t want anything it end and I also didn’t want to lose him.  But then lasting relationships take maturity, forgiveness, honesty , tolerance and understanding. So when things went sore, we couldn’t handle anything and we destroyed everything.                The thing that made me so happy left so easily and soon I was confused ; why should something so good go ?  Why would life take away something so beautiful ? For a very long time, I was. lost in my head.  I hated. myself for everything. I couldn’t even tell anyone what was happening.  For me , there was a lot of weakness in expressing pain. Anything and everything annoyed me. All the same , my opinion was corrected and I was given the rare opportunity to learn a beautiful lesson;  Genuine,  constant and deliberate happiness lies within us alone. I learnt how to be happy without people. I feel in love with myself and soon I received that happiness I once felt except this time not because of anyone.                   Missing people is normal, but remembering that you will always be there for yourself is rare and ironically, very necessary.